Thursday, October 16, 2014

Elections 2014: Two Senate and One Governor Wannabes and Shouldn'tbes

by Sunnyjane

We're just three Tuesdays away from election day, and the Silly Season has morphed into the Pathetic Period.  The Silly Season officially began the day John Boehner's first tax-payer- financed lawyer bailed on him and the Big B decided it would be smart to hire the lawyer who lost Bob McDonnell's corruption case.  This circus stunt, of course, is merely a desperate ploy to earn votes for Republican Tea Party candidates on November 4.  Because, you know, those Benghazi/Obamacare/IRS thingies didn't work out too well.

The Pathetic Period took off when, in a debate with her Democratic opponent, one GOP candidate pivoted from a question she didn't want to answer and accused her challenger of suing a neighbor whose pet chickens had pooped in his yard. Pathetic.

One interesting bit to know while you're reading about a couple of the races for this mid-term election:  The Senate Conservatives Fund, which was set up by skanky old Jim DeMint before he skedaddled away to make his millions as president of The Heritage Foundation, is not having a very good year.  For some unfathomable reason, the SCF hired former Virginia attorney general and failed (thank God) gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli to be its new leader.  Of the six candidates the SCF shoved money at, three lost their primaries: T. W. Shannon (OK), Chris McDaniel (MS), and Milton Wolf (KS).  The other one, Rob Maness of Louisiana, is expected to lose to either Democrat Mary Landrieu or the other Republican candidate, Bill Cassidy. (Louisiana is a weird state; it will hold a jungle primary on November 4, and the top two candidates will be voted on in a runoff election on December 6.  Either way, Maness, a Palin endorsee, is gonna loseHeh.) So how's it going there for you, Cooch?

Since there are a gazillion House races and thirty-three Senate races, we'll only look at a couple of the more interesting ones.      

Deep in the Heart of Texas: Abbott v. Davis for Governor

Proving that you can shine shit for fun and profit.
The issue that got the attention of Democrats nationwide was Texas state senator Wendy Davis's noble filibuster effort to stop the legislature from passing a grossly restrictive abortion bill in 2013.  The bill passed anyhow, much to the delight of conservatives everywhere.  However, appeals have bounced around the Texas courts so many times since then that I'm not sure where it stands today; the latest decision on whether or not the restrictions on abortion clinics are too severe seems to change hourly.  But this is known: of the forty-four clinics currently operating, all but eight will have to close if the bill is upheld.

To Greg Abbott, forcing women who choose to obtain an abortion to drive 250 miles is merely a slight inconvenience, but a manageable one.  I guess it's according to how you define manageable.

Lest we be lulled into believing that shutting down women's clinics is all about being pro-life and, ahem, all concerned about the health and safety of female Texans, there's another side to this story: it's called PROFIT.  And who would profit from these restrictions?  None other than Gov. Rick Perry's sister, Milla Perry Jones, who is on the board of the doctors-owned Texas Ambulatory Surgical Center Society, which runs 420 clinics throughout Texas.  Since the need for abortions is not likely to go down, this little group could make tons of money, i.e., profit, by charging a higher fee than the shut-down clinics did.  See?  You knew it had to be about the money, didn't you?

On teh gays gettin' married, one of Abbott's arguments for banning such a thing is that it would reduce out-of-wedlock births.  (I thought that was contraception's job, but perhaps I'm wrong.)  Now I have no earthly idea what judge would accept that explanation as sound reasoning, but if it can be done, it will be done in Texas.

The current polls are inconclusive on this race, but most have Abbott leading by single digits.  It's extremely important that women and minorities vote on November 4.

The Bluegrass State:  McConnell v. Grimes for Senate
I'm not a scientist, but I'm right there with Paul Ryan when it comes to budgets!
It may well be called the bluegrass state, but politically it's redder than Rudolph's nose on Christmas Eve.  Despite the fact that Kentuckians detest Mitch McConnell, Democratic candidate Alison Grimes has an uphill battle on her hands.

One reason Mitch wants to become Senate Majority Leader is so that he and his senate cronies can shut down the government again, because, you know, it was such a $25 Billion success the first time.  And as Michael Tomasky wrote just recently concerning the debate, Le Turtle has an astounding ability to lie, dissemble, and misrepresent himself to voters.   The entire debate between the incumbent and Grimes should have convinced his constituents that Mitch is full of crap and needs to be replaced.  Now I don't know whether McConnell is stupid or if he thinks Kentuckians are stupid, but his response to the question on Obamacare was the epitome of contempt.  He hates it, and taking a line from Ted Cruz, he'd rip it apart branch and root.  But, he'd let his citizens have their little website -- Kynect -- if they wanted to keep it.  Gee, thanks Uncle Mitch!  Idiot.

For her part, at least Alison Grimes stated that there was no way she would take affordable health care away from five hundred thousand Kentuckians who had it under Kynect. 

When Grimes refused to answer if she had voted for President Obama in 2008 and 2012, GOPers pounced like vultures on two-week-old roadkill in August.  Even Chuck Todd, newly anointed anchor of Sunday morning's Meet My Good Republican Friends Meet the Press, asked if not responding to that question disqualifies her.  It makes one wonder where Chuck Todd was in 2012 when Mitt Romney refused to answer questions about what policies he would propose on various issues, oh, like the following:  refusing to answer questions on Richard Mourdock's belief that a baby conceived through rape was something God planned; or refusing fourteen times to respond to questions right after hurricane Sandy on whether he would still get rid of FEMA and turn disaster relief over to the states and private sector groups; and  his refusal to answer what tax loopholes he would close, what he would do about immigration reform, his stand on the NRA, etc.  You really wanna talk about disqualifying a candidate, Chuck?  You really wanna go there?

Some polls have Grimes up in this race.

The Motor City State: Land v. Peters for Senate

I don't always run for the U.S. Senate, but when I do, I blow $6 Million of the Kochs' money!

She wasn't anybody's first choice, and now we're seeing why, said an in-the-know GOPer of Terry Lynn Land's candidacy.  Land is running against Democrat Gary Peters in Michigan's race for the U.S. Senate seat of Democrat Carl Levin, who is retiring after this term.

By most accounts, Land is simply not ready for prime time.  She's uncomfortable campaigning, has been called the invisible candidate, and once said I can't do this! when being questioned by a group of reporters.

Things got so bad that in mid-August the Kochs pulled their $1.1 Million dollar ad blitz for her.  And just recently, the National Republican Senatorial Committee left her all-dressed-up-and-no-place-to-go by yanking back an $850,000 ad campaign.

Needless to say, Gary Peters is ahead in this race with a 42 - 33 lead.

End Note

And don't let any new ones in!

(We will continue to look at Senate and House races until Election Day)


Please note that due to a glitch in the Matrix, the first version of this post and the comments disappeared. We apologize for any inconvenience! :-)

Thursday, October 9, 2014

PALIN-BRAWL - The police-report finally brings out the ugly truth: Witnesses say that the Palin-family started the fight, Bristol and Track Palin were "heavily intoxicated" and violent, Bristol punched the host Korey Klingenmeyer multiple times, she was "out of control" and acted abusive towards him - and then lied to the police afterwards about what happened! And there is much more - read the naked, unmasked truth about the Palin-family!

Yes, we know all too well, Sarah!

By Patrick

Thank the Lord for the work of the Anchorage Police Department! The infamous "Palin-brawl" from Saturday, September 6, 2014 (read our extensive report) was already almost forgotten, and Sarah Palin and her clan almost got away with their lies again. 

Although the Alaska media consistently reported the true story, as told by eye-witnesses (see for the example the reporting by blogger Amanda Coyne and the Alaska Dispatch News), the spin-machine of the Palins went into full gear afterwards. As a result, the "Palin-version" of the brawl, in which they are the victims, got widely reported and muddied the waters, and CNN-host Brian Stelter then even felt compelled to ask on air whether the Palin-family does not "deserve the benefit of the doubt", a statement which was afterwards celebrated by right-wing media outlets like "Breitbart", who claimed that Brian Stelter rightly "shamed his colleagues."

However, giving Sarah Palin "the benefit of the doubt" is never a good idea, as journalists who were not "convinced" can now check for themselves. The extensive witness statements about the "Palin-brawl" which are contained in the police report leave no doubts any more about what happened, who started the fight, and who behaved in the most disgusting manner: It was the Palin-family.

Many, many thanks to our friend Malia Litman who today published the report!

Read and download the report:

I copied the statements from the report for easier reading:

Matthew McKenna nailed it down there in the last sentence:

"The problem was that Bristol and Willow 
were drunk as were their boyfriends."

There are many more quotes in this report which deserve be mentioned, and we will do so in due course. But first, it is a feeling of great relief that this police report not only fully confirms the reporting of the Alaska bloggers, the Alaska media and most of the mainstream media, our own reporting (using inside information from our sources in Alaska), but also bluntly exposes the Palin-family as hypocrites, liars and as hugely unpleasant as a whole. Finally, no "benefit of the doubt" is needed any more.

It is a real shame that eye-witness Eric Thompson lost his job about this whole affair - just for telling the truth. But the truth cannot be hidden forever.

EDITED TO ADD - From my comment earlier on in the last post:

 "One policeman states that AFTER he had taken Korey Klingenmeyer's testimony that Track and Todd came at Korey again and that he and other officers had to separate them in order to prevent further escalation."

What further proof is needed that the Palins were in an aggressive mood that night. Alcohol and aggression are not good bedfellows ever. 



As I expected, this finally, and deservedly, exposes the Palin-family as the huge hypocrites they really are. It was long overdue, as they got away with far too much during all these years.

Josh Marshall, editor and publisher of Talking Points Memo, just tweeted:




Next Monday, October 13th, Sarah Palin will be the keynote speaker at a banquet, held by the "Trinity Christian School" in North Dakota, and will appear together with the well-known anti-gay religious extremist and proven liar David Barton.

Excerpt from a detailed article about David Barton by the Southern Poverty Law Center:

A fervent homophobe, Barton has claimed that gay people die “decades earlier” than others and have more than 500 partners apiece in their lifetimes. On his WallBuilders radio broadcast, he’s flagrantly misled listeners by saying that the “leading pediatric association in America” has cautioned educators against providing education about homosexuality. But the American College of Pediatricians that Barton referred to has only a couple of hundred members and is, in fact, a right-wing breakaway group from the 60,000-member American Academy of Pediatrics, which is the real “leading pediatric association in America.” The group he cited split with the American Academy of Pediatrics explicitly because it had taken an official stand that there is no harm associated with same-sex parenting.

Some of Barton’s claims are mind-boggling to any reasonably well-educated person. For example, in his version of history, the founding fathers “already had the entire debate on creation and evolution,” and chose creationism. Reality check: Charles Darwin didn’t publish his theory of evolution in The Origin of Species until 1859, more than half a century after the founding fathers were active. Barton also has asserted that the American Revolution was fought to free slaves. “That’s why we said we want to separate from Britain, so we can end slavery,” Barton said. Actually, that’s ridiculous. Many of the founding fathers were slaveholders, slavery is acknowledged (although it is not named) in the constitution that they wrote, and the British Empire outlawed slavery three decades before the United States did.

Barton also has promoted the anti-immigrant cause and engaged in Muslim-bashing. He opposes immigration reform, saying that God established national borders (tell that to the Russians and the Poles, who have seen their borders changed repeatedly over the course of history), and has appeared on the radio show of hard-line nativist William Gheen. Barton cited infamous Islamophobe Robert Spencer in attacking U.S. Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the first Muslim congressman.

In 2010, Barton joined the battle to bowdlerize the Texas social studies curriculum for public schools, supporting efforts to excise Martin Luther King Jr. and 1960s farm worker activist Cesar Chavez from textbooks. As reported by Washington Monthly, Barton said King didn’t deserve to be included for advancing minority rights because “only majorities can expand political rights.”

After establishing a 25-year record of Big Lie propaganda, Barton finally got taken down in a decisive way in 2012 — and among the most effective at eviscerating his reputation were fellow Christian conservatives. Barton’s book, The Jefferson Lies, had actually made The New York Times best-seller list. But then Jay Richards of the Discovery Institute, a think tank known for it advocacy of “intelligent design,” asked 10 conservative Christian professors to evaluate Barton’s work. They found the book riddled with errors. Professors Warren Throckmorton and Michael Coulter of Grove City College, a conservative Christian school in Pennsylvania, even wrote another book in 2012, Getting Jefferson Right: Fact Checking Claims about Our Third President, that debunks Barton’s claims. The same year, Richards said that Barton’s books and videos were full of “embarrassing factual errors, suspiciously selective quotes, and highly misleading claims.”

The coup de grace also came in 2012, when readers of the History News Network voted Barton’s new book the “least credible history book in print.” The nonpartisan network, affiliated with George Mason University, describes its mission as putting current events in historical perspective and features articles by prominent historians.

Meanwhile, a multi-ethnic coalition of evangelical ministers, based in Cincinnati, asked Thomas Nelson, the book’s Christian publisher, to withdraw the book. The pastors said the book inaccurately portrayed Jefferson’s true views on race, his record as a slaveholder, and his negative views of Jews. “You can’t be serious about racial unity in the church, while holding up Jefferson as a civil rights hero and champion of freedom,” the Rev. Ray McMillian told Grove professor Throckmorton for an article published on the website.

After all of this pressure and negative publicity, a Nelson spokesman announced in August 2012 that the publishing company had reviewed Barton’s book and found enough errors to recall copies not yet sold and stop new shipments. This came despite the book’s commercial success.

His reputation in tatters, Barton accused his critics of exaggerating his claims about Jefferson’s Christian faith. Then he reportedly bought up 17,000 remaining copies from Nelson and continued to sell them on Amazon. He also said that he would publish a new edition (it wasn’t clear where) that won’t include any substantial changes but will alter a few phrases to clear up any confusion.

Barton still retains some influence, but only in the most extreme and uneducated segments of the Christian Right. Virtually all serious conservatives have repudiated him, and his chances of making a comeback seem remote, to be kind, although he sounds just as glib and sure as himself as ever.

Screenshot of the announcement:

So the fake Christian Sarah Palin continues to scrape the barrel with other fake Christians, what a surprise. Why do I get the impression that Sarah Palin and David Barton will really like each other?

Our wonderful annes_123 has already imagined what Sarah Palin's speech would sound like on Monday at the "Trinity Christian School"...and it appears pretty accurate to me! 

Read for yourself:

"Yes, yes thank you thank you, thank you, yes.... praise me.. ahem.. yes, thank you... So (scratches nostril and smirks)... if yu've been watchin' the news lately my family ...ha ha.. snort... ha..mmhmmm.... got into a little kerfluffle and of course the lame stream media was all over it A HA! Gotcha, Palin Family!

You see they tried that by camping outside my practically NUDE hot yoga positions studio trying to catch a glimpse of me bending over or leaving so they could say.. what? I sweat?

So yeah, God Bless America! Snort ..... lemme tell you a few things about this now infamous (makes quotes with gnarly fingers) "brawl" my wonderful, very loving, independent family "supposedly" instigated.

Yep, we got a big kick out the tale spun just the other night over some good Moose Stew my pops brought in. It's getting cold up there in Alaska! I don't know if you know where my dad lives but it isn't an easy ride to our place but he did because that's what family does. Looks out for each other. How I was raised and how Tawd and I raised our kids (tugging at her strange leather tasseled top to reveal more uneven cleavage for a peep).

So lemme give you an eye witness account by someone who was there (thumps chest and struts like a rooster) not an "after the fact" report jotted down I mean our Alaskan men and women of the police force do their jobs and are good solid hard workin' folks but are at the mercy ya know the mercy when at a scene later than when words and all were going on.

So let's see... got the report right here.

Wouldn't fit on my hand! SNORT! (fixes fake glasses)

"A belligerent Bristol Palin was swinging and punching like a wild woman"...

My sweet little Bristol! She's gotta mean right hook Track taught her. My girls were both threatened with being gang raped multiple times while in our safe public high school. She learned to give a punch.... to fend off gang rapists!! Does that sound wild and belligerent or just a young, very sweet single mom out there trying to protect her sister who had just been attacked?

Sheeshes but it gets better...

So Bristol is being dragged all around by some drunken maniac by her feet and Willow is being clobbered by this big older lady also drunk so what do my kids do? Spring into action to protect each other. Track, Bristol and Willow. Did they say THAT in their lame stream media "report"?

And "heavily intoxicated"? Come on please! Did they do a breath test?

Didn't think so. So they smelled alcohol.

The alcohol that was thrown at them by the crazy man dragging Bristol by the hair and then feet and by the big older lady, much older than me, sitting on Willow spilling her beer all over the place!

The party did get out of control and we would of never of shown up to celebrate my great husband Tawd's 50th if we knew. We just were at the wrong place at the wrong time among folks that should of known better and my kids were their target.

I raised them to stand up for each other and protect at all cost like that Mama Grizzly fierceness.

Once Bristol and Willow were out of harms way we were on our way back to our vehicle to find a more calmer, suitable celebration - probably the local Dairy Queen! Ha! Simple but we are simple folks and more peaceful!

Well, that's when the cops showed up and were trying to get the scoop from a very visibly shaken Bristol ...terrorized not drunk and a fired up Combat Troop Track still making sure his sisters were safe.

And that, folks is the big "brawl"...

Now, lessons to be learned, of course so what can we take from that and turn into a teachable moment for our kids? Well, I prayed a lot about this and God told me........ blab blab blab blab.....snort... show cleavage... blab...

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Elections 2014: The Bad and the Just God-Awful Republican Governors

by Sunnyjane

Don't Re-elect -- Instead, Reject!

Of the twenty-nine Republican governors currently in office, thirteen are either embroiled in scandals, being investigate for corruption, or have recently been indicted.  Of these thirteen, three have presidential aspirations: Chris Christie, Rick Perry, and Scott Walker, who is currently up for re-election.  And some of these governors are simply in deep doo-doo for being lousy executives of their states, but expect their constituents to re-elect them anyhow so they can complete the job of totally ruining their respective states.  Is this a great country or WHAT?

--  Kansas, possibly the reddest of the red states, seems to be in an unstoppable swirl down the political toilet.  Sam Brownback's hyper-conservative tax-cutting policies have brought down the state's credit rating from both Moody's and Standard & Poor's, and risks running a deficit through 2019.  In an effort to stem that particular tide, he then cut the tax rate on the top tax bracket even more, which reduced revenue by forty-five percent -- or $93 million in 2013.  Hail, austerity!  But that's not all, folks: Brownback's former chief of staff and current campaign adviser is being investigated by the FBI for influence peddling operations in Kansas government and privatization of the state's Medicaid program.  (The FBI's a bit touchy about things like corrupt government.  Think McDonnell, Bob.)  Latest poll numbers suggest that Brownback's Democratic opponent, Paul Davis, could win with fifty-seven percent of the vote.  (Heh)

-- Pennsylvania governor Tom Corbett is currently having a close encounter of the porn kind.  It seems that eight former employees of Corbett's while he was Attorney General had sent and received hundreds of pornographic images or videos in emails that his office received during the Jerry Sandusky child sex abuse case.  Two of these guys who had gone to work for Corbett when he was elected governor in 2010 during the Tea Party wave resigned last week.

In touting his new jobs plan during recent debates, Gov. Corbett urged Pennsylvania to check out the new website and see the 250,000 jobs that were waiting breathlessly to be filled.  However, a check of this shiny new jobs website revealed that some of these dandy job opportunities were hardly what one might call viable career prospects.  Two examples:

  • VIP Hostess – I have two visiting VIP gentlemen coming to town. Need a couple of female hostesses to join them for cocktailing, dinner and clubbing. Send me a couple of pictures of yourself – under 30 please, if you are highly attractive and in need of $$...
  • Casting Couch – Looking for M.I.L.F.S…hot mom & daughter combos!!! Young busty females between 18-45. Please attach pic. Thank you ladies!!!

Pennsylvanians have been suffering voters' remorse for four years.  The Corbett that looked like a moderately conservative candidate turned into a Tea Partier and the voters have had it with that particular deal; a late-August poll showed his Democratic opponent, Tom Wolf, leading by twenty-five points.

 -- Maine's governor, Paul LePage, is a skank of the first order, and God only knows what possessed the people of that good state to elect him -- temporary insanity, perhaps.  Not only has LePage met several times with a group of conspiracy theorists (a polite term for them) calling themselves Sovereign Citizens -- the FBI considers them domestic terrorists -- but it was recently revealed by one member of the group that in those meetings they discussed hanging the members of the Democratic legislature.  LePage, of course, denies that.

LePage will say anything and doesn't care that it may anger or appall people.  Last year he ranted to two reporters how irritated he was with a Democratic state senator, saying, Sen. Jackson claims to be for the people, but he's the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline.   Such class!

Hardly had he gotten into office that he told the NAACP it could kiss my butt because he refused to attend an event honoring Martin Luther King, Jr.  His reasoning went something like this:  the NAACP is a special interest group and he doesn't do special interest groups.  (Yeah, like the Tea Party isn't a special interest group.)  And taking a cue from Mitt Romney, LePage announced that 47% of able-bodied Maine residents don't work.  That went over particularly well, as you can imagine, particularly when Politifact gave the remark a Pants on Fire award. 

If the current polls hold, there's a very good chance that Mike Michaud, his Democratic opponent, may very well become the first openly gay governor in the U.S.

If you're not super-weary of these three, check out the ten most vulnerable governors in this election.

And Speaking of Governors...

It would be a very good idea if Romney would just bite his tongue.
During the 2012 general election, Mitt Romney told Fox Noxious that he absolutely believes that President Obama is responsible for high gas prices at the pump because  he has not pursued policies that convince the world that America is going to become energy secure, energy independent.  (That's sounds very much like a Sarah Palin statement, doesn't it?) The price of gas at the time was $3.80 a gallon on average; today the price is $3.33 on average, and shows signs of dropping below $3.00 in the near future.  Romney's response today on gas prices?  Echos of the sound of silence.

Perhaps Mr. Romney is just too busy to find out the price of gas because he's been out campaigning for a bunch of losers.  You can tell they're losers because they're desperate enough to reach out to Mitt Romney.  Perhaps the will-never-be-anything-but-a-former-governor is doing this to take the opportunity to spew his unhappiness that he lost in 2012.  In a recent event for Terri Lynn Land, a U.S. Senate hopeful in Michigan, he said that it’s time for the president to apologize to Americans for so many failures.  Uh huh.  Well, Mitt, do you mean like ten million Americans now having affordable health care?  Or, the unemployment rate dropping below six percent?  Or, growing jobs in America -- versus jobs in China -- continuously for the past fifty-four months?  Please explain.  We'll be anxiously awaiting your response.   Any time you're ready.

Romney's really getting tiresome.  

End Note 

You're welcome, Patriots!

(Next post we will talk about the House and Senate races.  Hoo boy!)

Monday, September 29, 2014

Values Voter Summit 2014: Bombastic Hatefest on the Potomac

by Sunnyjane endeth the Gospel According to Nobody.  Amen.
Don'tcha just love it when two thousand bigots are gathered together in God's name to affirm  their hatred for all the real values America stands for?  You know, like those life...liberty...pursuit of happiness thingies?
According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, the Family Research Council -- which proudly sponsors this annual confab of far-right religionistas -- is a hate group that makes false claims about the LGBT community based on discredited research and junk science in order to fight same-sex marriage, hate crime legislation, etc; you get the drift.  A prime example of this homophobia is the guy who actually came in second in the VVS straw poll.  That would be Dr. Ben Carson, who not only has stated on different occasions that Obamacare is worse than slavery and worse than the 9/11 tragedy, but offered his opinion on same-sex marriage by stating that No group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA [North American Man-Boy Love Association], be they people who believe in bestiality ... they don't get to change the definition of marriage.  Yeah, that guy.
Since the Republican Tea Party has no cohesive agenda around which to unify, the only thing left is to urge their base to vote for their religious extremism so that we can finally have a Constitution based on God’s laws, not man’s laws.  Cause, you know,  our rights come from On High, not from mere mortals.  Thus, it seems that the Founding Fathers had no business writing that darn document in the first place!  No, it doesn’t make one iota of sense, but there you have it.

Well gee, it must be an election year, because they seemed to have been keeping their homophobia in the closet last weekend.  Even Michele Bachmann decided that talking about gay marriage is boring.  Maybe she's finally tired of hearing herself talk; I dunno.  One does wonder what Tony Perkins, Homophobe-in-Chief at the FRC, thought of that.  So absent the occasion to spew vitriol over Teh Gays, the speakers used up most of the oxygen in the room ranting about President Obama.  Nothing new there.

A Few Scraps from the Hate Heap

-- Ted Cruz played a rollicking good game of Deflection at the Hatefest by calling the Democrats an extreme, radical party that wants to take away the rights of Americans.  (Snort!)  In an effort to fling every arrow in his own fanatical quiver, the Canadian senator pontificated on every topic he could think of, including Obamacare, gun rights, and the persecution of Christians around the world.  He then went on to berate President Obama on Iran's nuclear proliferation negotiations, saying that the Iranians are sitting down swilling Chardonnay with the Americans... and that we needed a president who would take a tougher stand. This prompted Andrea Mitchell, in one of her more astute moments, to respond that perhaps we need a president who knows Iranians don't drink.  Cruz won the straw poll for president with twenty-five percent and the poll for vice president with twenty-two percent.

-- Sarah Palin let us know that there's no truth coming out of the venerable Willard Hotel situated at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue; I'm certain the Willard appreciated that a lot.  Palin tried to press every tired old button in her already limited arsenal, including the fact that seeing military  veterans gives her goose bumps.  (Is that something we needed to know?)  But, of course, she's afraid that America isn't going to survive the dense, liberal elite and their Orwellian leaders who want to control other people's livesSurely it must have been an oversight that she didn’t explain how Republican’s advocating government regulations over women’s health decisions, people’s right to marry the person they love, and free and open voting doesn’t constitute controlling our lives.  Right?  Out of 901 votes in the straw poll, Palin garnered only nine.  It's interesting to note that Write-In Candidate beat her with thirteen votes.  Better pick up the pace, Sarah.

-- So bored with gay marriage is Michele Bachmann that now she is advocating taking our military back to the 1980s when, you know, we had Peace through Strength! with Ronald Reagan at the helm, and we didn't lose four Americans in Benghazi!  She's right; we actually  lost 250 servicemen at an embassy in Beirut.  Bachmann also wants the President to declare war with Islam.  So, at the direction of Secretary of State John Kerry, the Pentagon is reconfiguring its computer models to locate the elusive country of Islam about which Ms. Bachmann speaks; so far, there’s only a lot of earlobe-pulling and head-scratching going on in the War Room.  Dick Cheney, ever anxious to drop a bomb anywhere in the world, is doing his part by snarling at his computer monitor because has let him down again.   No word as to when he’ll appear on Fox to berate the President for not yet declaring war with Google.  Bachmann only managed to get eleven votes in the straw poll.   

-- Rand Paul is still trying to retrofit his image.  President Obama is an arrogant autocrat.  The President acts like a king.  There's a spiritual crisis in America.  We've got to rediscover our mojo.  We've arrived at the day of reckoning.  Yada, yada, yada.  Zzzzzzzzz... Rand Paul pulled in sixty-three votes.

-- Rick Santorum's shtick is so old and tired -- protecting marriage, the glue that holds the family together...  Oh, never mind.  You've heard it all before.  But he did manage to rake in (heh) eighty-seven votes to be the Republican candidate for President of the United States.

End Note